urban:masala

On Living and Learning

urban masala on 05 12, 2008

Not much to say today. Well, maybe I just don’t feel like writin’ it out, but I’ve been doin’ some more thinking this week and I’m not quite done. To reiterate a comment I heard today, “I have learned a lot this week.” As it should be, more often than not, there is certainly more to people (and life) than meets the eye. Unfortunately, the things we learn are not always pleasant or comfortable, and sometimes they are downright disturbing.

The longer I live, the more I realize how vitally important it is for me to remember to not judge a book by its cover, no matter how seemingly attractive or unattractive; charming or repelling; exciting or boring; clever or dull, etc., the cover may appear. But by the same token, I feel it’s equally important for me to “trust my gut” and look to God for leadership, guidance and direction. While I make a conscious effort to give people the benefit of the doubt (and not pronounce them guilty until proven innocent), I’m ever mindful of the fact that everything (everyone) is NOT always as it (he/she) appears. Like momma used to say, “all that glitters is NOT gold.” I’m learning to look past the surface and see the deeper, less obvious aspects of the people and world around me, especially those I allow into my life. I’ve noticed through observation that, given enough time, some folks will hang/expose themselves! Substance over form, ALWAYS!

Many people have entered and exited my life over the years, while others have remained steadfast, like a birth mark. I’m reminded of the old, but true cliche, “people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime,” and this concept is undoubtedly reinforced with each day of my journey. Lately, I’ve been reminded (thank you, God) of something else my mom taught me — regardless of how a situation may appear at first glance, everyone who crosses your path is NOT your friend, and if given the opportunity, some folks will hurt you if you’re not careful. They may hurt you in ways that you don’t even realize at the time, leaving behind marks and scars that can be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to remove/heal, some of which may even last your entire life. We’ve got to be more careful and discerning about the people with whom we associate and allow into our lives on a personal level (online and off).

I’m a firm believer (though not always a practitioner) in the idea that those who do not learn from their mistakes (and the past) are doomed to repeat them. Lord knows I’m continually striving to not only use my past mistakes as catalysts for growth, but to also learn as much as possible on the front end so that I don’t have to suffer unnecessary and preventable pain and misery on the back end. And it’s becoming crystal clear to me that an important manifestation of wisdom is the ability to learn from the mistakes of others. I mean, we shouldn’t have to experience everything firsthand to learn a lesson. Should we? Stop, look, listen and learn! Yanno?

Another essential life rule that keeps ringing in my head these days is, DO NOT PLAY WITH FIRE! I firmly believe that if you keep hanging around the barber shop long enough, you will eventually end up getting a hair cut. That’s been my experience. On more than one occasion I have come home with a bald head! Well, guess what? I’m tired of walking around bald. Dear God, please watch over me, my family and friends, and help us to stay out of harms way.

Hmmmm, I guess I had more to say than I thought. Okay, I think I’m done for now.